Running Foot, detail of artwork by Jessica Doyle, see http://jessicadoyle.com for details. This is a sample of the pending first theme for this site.
I’ve started work on an essay for the proverbial question that everyone seems to ultimately ask – “Why do you run?“.
I always wish for a deep, concise and hopefully profound answer but instead I mumble or offer some lame answer. My last exchange on the topic after the Prague International Marathon, once again asked the question, this time by Jana, forcing me to gather my thoughts on the question. A common occurrence after a major race as inevitably one of my goals has not been reached and my body is screaming out in pain. To my surprise, this time, I actually had a few answers.
I had been confused, there isn’t actually a single answer or rather a single reason for why I run. I’ve discovered that it’s actually a collection of reasons, some very reasonable and logical while others rooted deep in my history and basic core of the human being I’ve become. Today’s blog entry is the start of what I hope translates into a longer, more in depth article on the question.
“Why do you run?”
To start, this list is not in any kind of order in terms of priority but rather the first responses that came to mind. Any other moment would find the list reorder with new entries and others forgotten, it’s simply how my mind works.
a) Rejoining the joy of my childhood, I would escape by taking adventures by myself into the local woods. Memories still burn bright in my mind of wandering, alone or with my dog, Hero and Athnie (my Dad’s spelling, “Athene” my spelling). Always curious of the unknown, off in my own world.
b) A desire to prove that I’m capable. This has translated over the years from wanting to be exceptional, an athletic super star (pure ego) to now demanding some type of control over my body. I think of this as refusing to acknowledge or rather be championed by things like ageing or Multiple Sclerosis (MS).
c) Finding some kind of balance, perhaps chemical or physiological. I’m always in a “better place” when I run regularly. I’ve played with forms of meditation and spirituality but running seems to provide the balance I seek at a very basic level. I’m notorious for asking too many questions of myself and those around me, running is my way of just letting thing “be“.
d) Putting a positive framework around a constant desire to be alone. I find running to be a very solitary experience, I get frustrated when others take my running time away from me, knowingly or otherwise. Perhaps a result of selfishness or simply needing “my alone time” out of habit, running gives me the perfect excuse to “run away“.
On another front, I’m thrilled with the progress that Jessica is making on the first round of artwork for this blog. Check out her site (Jessica Doyle.com) and consider her skills when in need of some “creative” in your life. Ultimately I’d like to feature a handful of artist in the theme of this site which might even include some of my own work!
I thought I lost it but it’s back, just a little taste but enough to leave me reflecting on past running joys and longing for more. It sounds like the words of an addict, some would argue they’re in the same league, I’m referring to a runner’s high, the chemical reaction that happens in the brain.
